jeudi 7 juin 2007

The right age for marriage

What's the right age for marriage?

I'm asking this question because I had a conversation with a guy yesterday who said if he was the president of this country, he would establish a law mandating women to wait till they are at least 30 years old before getting married. I asked him why he felt that way and he said people need to be clear about where they want to go in life before making a commitment as critical and as all-encompassing as marriage. And most girls in their 20's haven't figured out where they want to go in life. So when they get married, in ignorance, take their husbands and their marriages for granted.

He said girls in their 20's don't take marriage seriously, they feel they are still young so can afford to still play around and are always of the opinion that they can easily find someone else if the marriage doesn't work out, so don't put much of an effort in making it work.

He said he has found that women who marry young are seldom prepared for marital roles. These young girls don't know the first thing about taking care of a home and most times aren't ready to learn, thus most men married to them aren't happy. Because they give more than they get from their wives....

He also said most girls who marry in their 20's always marry for the wrong reasons. Either under the illusion of being inlove (when they don't know the first thing about love), or to show off to their friends or just for material gains/security.

But according to him, a woman in her thirties isn't looking to show off, show off to who when all her mates are married. And they always get married for the right reasons (whatever they are). He said if we observe carefully, most of the rich men getting married nowadays are marrying very young girls. If you check the husbands of women who got married in their 30's, they are usually average guys because these women have gone past caring about wealth, all they want now is to be a wife and a mother...they feel time is longer on their side.

He said a woman makes a marriage and the chances for a stable marriage increase when the woman has reached the age of 30. He said women over 30 are more mature and ready to shoulder the responsibilities that come with marriage. Their maturity make the marriage bearable.

He also said a woman who has waited till in her thirties without finding a man, and feels time is running out for her will be humble and submissive to her husband when she eventually finds one, because she knows how long it took to search and find so would appreciate what she has and will do everything to make it work.

I don't know if I agree with this school of thought, but when you really think about it, maybe this guy has a point?

For me, I think the right time for marriage is after taking seriously into consideration the need to wait until you have personally developed yourself and life goals. After you have established this, your selection of a life partner and readiness for marriage will be based on the grown up you. Now you are mature, educated, earning a living etc...

If you have reached this level at 25, 26, 27 years of age, then you are ready for marriage. Some people are over 30 and are still lost, immature, selfish and not ready for marriage. So I don't think it's about age, it's about the maturity of the mind, experiences, defined goals and needs, independence, discovering yourself and willingness to learn...Marriage is not about age, it's about the mind!

So what do you guys think? When is the right age for a woman to marry?

By the way, my younger sis thinks the right age for a woman to marry is the age when she finds a man who wants to marry her...lol. she's been slapped, dont worry...

Send me your thoughts.

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