Marriage: Do or die? Really?

By Lola Avari

I honestly do not understand why marriage is viewed as a do or die affair. Marriage is no one's last bus stop but some people make it seem so. Why is it that in the Nigerian society marriage seems to be so crucial? This obviously causes desperation in men and women... yeah I said it, there are also desperate men. This is also one of the reasons why so many marriages are failing. People are pushed to looking for a lifetime partner due to social and family pressure and no one is looking for Mr or Miss right for me but they are busy marrying Mr and Miss right now.


If a lady is approaching her thirties and is not in a relationship heading for marriage or married, it is always a problem. Then when they pass the 30 age mark it becomes a problem to find a man to take you as wife... and even if he did, his family may have a big problem with it. Notice how when you are married the people who pushed you into it are not the ones actually living your life or helping you deal with the emotional, mental and physical stress caused by the marriage rushed to early...

Why RUSH? Is marriage just about the wedding and letting people know yeah I'm married now... what is it about marriage that tells people just do it anyhow... it is a thing that requires the two P's: patience and prayer.

So even when you don't marry, why is it such a big deal? especially for the women. If the right person has not come along must the desperation lead you into a lifetime of sorrow or a marriage of chance (meaning you don't know if it will be a happy or bad union).

I know loneliness is not the best way to live a life but its better than suffering with a companion from hell. Why not wait for the right moment; be it age 30, 40 or 50. I do not like the idea of a divorce and it hurts to know that this is the new solution for a problem in a marriage; this is because the match was not the right one from the start...

So I ask, is marriage really a do or die affair??? Or a DO OR LIVE???